Confessions.
Uninterested, shoo.
ii've always know that there will be an ending to that memories.
No matter how hard ii tried not to make it happen.6th/7th Jan.
ii never thought that it will become part of a painful memory instead.
My world seems to freeze up when ii got the facts.
The betrayal, the hurt, the confusion.
And it all crashed, the day you ended it all.
ii've seen it coming, but ii guess, no matter how much ii prepared for it,
that amount of pain, the impact, was still too great.
(ii have vague memory that it was your prize giving ceremony.
ii guess you'll never know how happy ii was for you.)
As much as ii hate to admit, ii kinda regret the harsh words ii used,
wanting to hurt you as much as how ii was hurting.
ii was too blinded by my own feelings to care about anything at that time..
ii regret, but, ii guessed ii will not apologise.
Coz firstly it will not get you back;
secondly, well, you deserved some scoldings anyway(duh);
thirdly, it's not as if you apologise for wrongdoing in the first place.
Am grudgeful. HAHASometimes ii wonder what will happen if ii don't know the truth? Sometimes ii wonder what will it be like if ii approached you in a different attitude? Will the ending be the same? Sometimes ii wonder if you are hurt coz of the words ii said? Sometimes ii wonder is it that easy for you to wash away everything that we've gone through? Or is it mii who is holding on too much? And sometimes ii heard stuffs about you, and ii got all curious, but then ii asked myself, 'so what?', 'why bother?', and was all normal again. And ii wonder if it's the same for you?
Really, having all these questions now doesn't matters anymore.
It's not as if time will rewind back to the past.
It's not as if this chapter of my life will rewind and restart again.
But even though ii know it doesn't matter, ii can't help thinking about them.
Foolish? Yeah, maybe.
Now, ii will clear all my unwanted thinkings.
And so, this shall be the last post about you.
Thank you for being part of my life for that 1.5 years.
Thank you for your love, your time.
Thank you for tolerating with my constant ramblings.
And finally, goodbye, The One that I had Loved.
-CYM- life journey moves on.
